First, let me offer the Official Definition:
Peer support is a way of thinking about purposeful relationships. It is a process where both people (or a group of people) use the relationship to look at things from new angles, develop greater awareness of personal and relational patterns, and to support and challenge each other as we try new things.
- Excerpted from the International Mental Health Collaborating Network (IMHCN)
Ever since it was developed in the 1990's, international peer support (IPS) has found increasing acceptance as an alternative to psychiatric hospitalization by mental health professionals, families, friends and community-based organizations.
Let me now offer you my definition:
Peer support is when people use their own experiences to help each other. It connects people together through their shared lived experiences to support each other, provide safe space, and create an environment of acceptance and understanding.
Peer support is not a replacement for traditional therapy or counseling. In fact, I have been in therapy myself (DBT and CBT FTW) as an individual, with my partner, and in a group setting. I think self-examination with a trained practitioner is a good thing, and I encourage everyone to consider it.
What is peer support for ethical non-monogamy (ENM)?
Peer support offers individuals, couples, and polycules who identify as ethically non-monogamous a chance to speak with a peer who shares their lived experience in a non-clinical setting.
If needed, traditional therapy and coaching are still available. However, a word of caution: it is not always possible to find traditional therapists well informed in the nuances of non-monogamous relationships. In addition, traditional therapy can also be costly, and many practices are on a months-long waitlist to see new patients.
Ultimately, ethically non-monogamous peer support fills a need and a gap. It's not "either/or" but rather "yes, and..."
"Much like improvisation in music, peer support is a process of experimentation and co-creation, and assumes we play off each other to create ever more interesting and complex ways of understanding."
- Shery Mead, Founder of International Peer Support