Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term for a number of non-monogamous (non-traditional) relationship structures. The ethical part is the key: the relationship occurs "with the full knowledge and consent of all involved.")


A wide assortment of different individual relationship models fall under the broad definition of ENM, including:

  • Stranger sex
  • Random hookup
  • Open marriage
  • Swinging
  • Relationship anarchy
  • FWB (friends with benefits), etc.
  • Polyamory
  • Whatever custom form your relationship takes


What all versions of ENM have in common is that the relationship is not fully monogamous and that everyone involved is consenting to this vision/structure.


For example:

  • Swinging can be ethical non-monogamy, if it's being done ethically.
  • Polyamory can be ethical non-monogamy, if it's being done ethically.
  • Cheating is not ethical non-monogamy since it is not being done with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.


Let's do the numbers:


  • According to Match's 2024 Singles in America study, about one-third of American singles say they've had a consensually non-monogamous relationship. A slightly higher proportion described their ideal relationship as something other than complete monogamy in a 2023 YouGov survey.

  • The dating app, Feeld, saw a 500% increase between 2020 and 2023 in the number of users including the terms "ethically non-monogamous" and "polyamorous" in their profiles.

  • In February 2024, 33% of users of the dating app OkCupid said they'd consider an open relationship, up from 27% in 2014. And there was a 45% increase in profile mentions of terms relating to non-monogamy between 2021 and 2023.

01 What is Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)?

Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term for a number of non-monogamous (non-traditional) relationship structures. The ethical part is the key: the relationship occurs "with the full knowledge and consent of all involved.")


A wide assortment of different individual relationship models fall under the broad definition of ENM, including:

  • Stranger sex
  • Random hookup
  • Open marriage
  • Swinging
  • Relationship anarchy
  • FWB (friends with benefits), etc.
  • Polyamory
  • Whatever custom form your relationship takes


What all versions of ENM have in common is that the relationship is not fully monogamous and that everyone involved is consenting to this vision/structure.


For example:

  • Swinging can be ethical non-monogamy, if it's being done ethically.
  • Polyamory can be ethical non-monogamy, if it's being done ethically.
  • Cheating is not ethical non-monogamy since it is not being done with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.


Let's do the numbers:


  • According to Match's 2024 Singles in America study, about one-third of American singles say they've had a consensually non-monogamous relationship. A slightly higher proportion described their ideal relationship as something other than complete monogamy in a 2023 YouGov survey.

  • The dating app, Feeld, saw a 500% increase between 2020 and 2023 in the number of users including the terms "ethically non-monogamous" and "polyamorous" in their profiles.

  • In February 2024, 33% of users of the dating app OkCupid said they'd consider an open relationship, up from 27% in 2014. And there was a 45% increase in profile mentions of terms relating to non-monogamy between 2021 and 2023.

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